ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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