Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize