I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
