the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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