The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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