he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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