...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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