My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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