Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A+ Viking dick
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
