i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
