Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
