Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
love makes seman taste better
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
