$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
