Dual....:-)
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
