we made out on top of his cat.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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