Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
