just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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