i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
