the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
