Kiss
Puke
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
