I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
