his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
