If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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