bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
