holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
