its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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