pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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