if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
