how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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