Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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  (757): I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis. http://tfl.nu/mahz
  Replies (33) Good night (981) Bad night (5884)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"

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  (314): just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?" http://tfl.nu/ava3
  Replies (52) Good night (5033) Bad night (749)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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  (541): Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =] http://tfl.nu/r84d
  Replies (46) Good night (7497) Bad night (1576)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.

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  (208): The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State. http://tfl.nu/x5jw
  Replies (20) Good night (1322) Bad night (4222)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.

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  (304): I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn. http://tfl.nu/xmj5
  Replies (10) Good night (6387) Bad night (1459)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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  (859): I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out http://tfl.nu/qumr
  Replies (16) Good night (5045) Bad night (1372)
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  (818): View more from California

  The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it

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  (818): The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it http://tfl.nu/3wsm
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (2801)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.

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  (601): I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents. http://tfl.nu/vupc
  Replies (17) Good night (2809) Bad night (1094)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

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  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (3234) Bad night (811)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN

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  (910): FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN http://tfl.nu/beux
  Replies (10) Good night (933) Bad night (1672)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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  (515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2
  Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (698)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Especially drunk mermaids.

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  (208): That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck. (208): Especially drunk mermaids. http://tfl.nu/soai
  Replies (8) Good night (1321) Bad night (460)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.

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  (860): Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage. http://tfl.nu/sckj
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (794)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.

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  (902): Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena. http://tfl.nu/gxq5
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?

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  (703): Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch? http://tfl.nu/4jed
  Replies (3) Good night (269) Bad night (271)

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