Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
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I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.