Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.

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  (614): Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis. http://tfl.nu/937p
  Replies (25) Good night (2539) Bad night (900)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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  (262): The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy. (651): That baby is bound to be under-loved. http://tfl.nu/j5h4
  Replies (10) Good night (1177) Bad night (3989)
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  (619): View more from California

  The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it

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  (619): The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it http://tfl.nu/ndqf
  Replies (66) Good night (956) Bad night (4244)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.

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  (914): Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary. http://tfl.nu/8dm9
  Replies (44) Good night (5509) Bad night (912)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  can u get pink eye on your cock?

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  (207): can u get pink eye on your cock? http://tfl.nu/aw6r
  Replies (19) Good night (722) Bad night (5592)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

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  (443): So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem http://tfl.nu/7afw
  Replies (27) Good night (1432) Bad night (4230)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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  (617): You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias. http://tfl.nu/4ikl
  Replies (8) Good night (5995) Bad night (1165)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?

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  (248): Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright? http://tfl.nu/mgmn
  Replies (4) Good night (1747) Bad night (894)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?

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  (610): On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate? http://tfl.nu/oozq
  Replies (8) Good night (1550) Bad night (554)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"

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  (205): He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos" http://tfl.nu/1xhi
  Replies (10) Good night (1626) Bad night (645)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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  (860): When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation http://tfl.nu/q5aa
  Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (446)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Challenge accepted

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  (610): The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar (614): Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/nyy2
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (373)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie

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  (706): I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie http://tfl.nu/t5j0
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (1005)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more

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  (305): The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more http://tfl.nu/xgx0
  Replies (6) Good night (518) Bad night (334)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.

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  (517): Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line. http://tfl.nu/nb9z
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (458)

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