your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
