try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
