I think I died a long time ago.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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