I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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