I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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