Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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