so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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