I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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