My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize