kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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