U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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