I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
