first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
