I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
