my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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