Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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