Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
