Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
