are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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