thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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