CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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