i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
