people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
