god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
