So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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