woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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