What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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