the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
