I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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