he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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