There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
