hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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