I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
