I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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