I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
