He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize