So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
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My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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