I'm jealous of your bromance
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
