Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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