How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
