Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
